Where Is Youko Kurama Now?
by Illicium verum
Summary: Hiei just wanted revenge on Yusuke. Now his plans are backfiring on him. Koenma and the fall of Reikai. Hiei and the end of the world. Youko Kurama hunting.
1. Chapter the First

"So these three here are the best essays?"

"Yes, Mr. Director. When should the boys come in for the interview?"

"Tomorrow would be the best day. I want to know where they got the ideas! They are each so similar, yet unique ideas. I want to know how they were inspired."

**The Next Day**

"Names and schools, please," said the secretary.

"Urameshi Yusuke, Sarayashiki."

"Kuwabara Kazuma, also Sarayashiki."

"My name is Minamino Shuichi, and I go to Meiou."

"Thank you, boys. Please put on these nametags and follow me. The director wants to interview you three about your wonderful essays."

The three boys shared a glance, wondering what they were in for.

Kuwabara was the first to notice that something was wrong with the situation. "Hey, Urameshi, you actually wrote an essay for school? Did Keiko force you?"

"Yeah, I wrote it, but Keiko didn't make me. I heard that we were studying demons in Mythology, so I figured I'd check it out. I thought it was fun studying everything I've killed. Then it got more interesting. The teacher announced one day that the next section would have an essay, so I almost left, but she mentioned that I shouldn't go because we were gonna study some great thieves. So I'm thinking maybe it's Kurama and that other guy, and I was right! It was the most interesting five weeks at Sarayashiki ever!"

"But you wrote the essay too!" Kuwabara interjected, "Why did you write it? You even got picked to be one of the top three!"

"He is right, you know," said Kurama, "the essays were ten pages minimum. I would have figured you'd back out."

"Yeah, but it's about yo-Youko Kurama."

"Sorry to interrupt, boys, but we're here now," the secretary said, "Please come in and sit down. This is the director over here, and these two are the reporter and the cameraman."

The boys sat on a couch in the middle of a huge room. The director sat across from them on an overstuffed armchair near the hovering reporters armed to the teeth with recording devices.

**Meanwhile in Reikai…**

Hiei had just returned from a solo mission to find Koenma, Jorge, and Botan watching something happen in the human world.

"Hey, I got your…" Hiei held up a misshapen blob and glanced over it, "thing back. Tell me where to put it or I'm leaving it on your desk."

This got Koenma's attention.

"No, Hiei! Wait! Jorge! Get me a jar!"

"Me? Why me?" asked Jorge.

Naturally, this upset Koenma.

"Because I said so! Now, ogre!"

Jorge had no choice but to comply.

"Yes, Koenma sir."

Botan bounced over to the desk by Hiei and said,

"Hey, Hiei! Guess what we're doing."

"You're staring at the screen watching humans."

"BINGO!"

"Can I go now, Koenma?"

"No, Hiei, Jorge isn't back yet. Besides, this is interesting. You should watch too. Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara each wrote top essays. It's getting good now. That man there is going to question them on the essays. It's really funny!"

"How is an essay funny?"

"'Cause it's about…well, you'll see. Yukina and Genkai are coming here to watch it too."

"Fine. I'll stay. Now where is Jorge?"

**In the Director's Office**

"So, boys, where did you get your ideas for the essays?"

Kurama was first to answer.

"I just thought about the possibilities that Youko Kurama might have had after his death. It just came to me."

Yusuke and Kuwabara were certainly not good at making up excuses.

"I met a friend online," Yusuke said.

"Yeah," added Kuwabara, "He thinks he's Youko Kurama's reincarnation."

"Kuwabara and I met him in this chat room. We were together."

"Yeah, I got it from him too."

"Do you know his name? It's for the article."

Yusuke stared at the director for a time before shouting,

"His name was Hiei."

"Yeah, me and Urameshi know him. He's from America."

Yusuke glared at Kuwabara. After all, even he knew that not many Americans were named Hiei. On the far left, Kurama was trying to keep from laughing. Trying to help the detective, Kurama looked pointedly at the other two and asked,

"You met him on that Youko Kurama forum, _right_?"

Luckily, both of the boys caught on.

"Yeah. His name isn't really Hiei, but his screen name is, um, hieiflameboy."

"Oh," Kurama added, "Then you must have been reigan007! I was on there too."

"You were there as well? Were you smartypants?"

Kurama winced at his new, made up screen name. Seeing this, Kuwabara jumped in.

"I'm yukinasman! Wow, that's cool! We all met each other online looking for info on Kurama, and we meet again as the top essay writers!"

'_Oh man_,' Kurama thought, '_Please don't let him notice the big gaping holes in our excuse!'_

Fortunately, the director didn't give their story a second thought.

"Would you boys tell me about your essays and why you chose the topic you did?"

Kuwabara spoke up first.

"Okay, here goes. Mine's what I think would happen if Youko Kurama and Kuronue had escaped to the human world and lived as neighbors, but they don't recognize each other. I think they'd hit it off, but they don't reveal that they're demons, so they realize the other's hiding something. I think they'd be trying to figure out what the other one's hiding while keeping their own identity a secret. It's a funny essay about keeping secrets."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Kuwabara," said the director. "What about you, Mr. Minamino?"

"My essay addresses the possible adaptations that a demon would have to make to fit in with the human world while not getting caught. For example, he would have to learn how to act like a human and to get along well enough with other humans so as not to draw attention to himself."

"And you, Mr. Urameshi?"

"Mine's a funny essay from Youko's perspective. I figured that, if he took a human form, he'd be aware of everything happening around him. I figured his reactions to Shio- um, his mother doing everyday stuff like nursing him or changing his diaper would be demeaning. I mean, in the demon world, who would baby talk to him or talk about how cute he is or pinch his cheeks? Also, he'd be going from a stronger, faster demon body to a pretty much useless human baby body. Like, he'd try to move, but his muscles haven't developed that much yet. I figured he wouldn't like it."


	2. Chapter the Second

**In Reikai**

Reluctantly, Hiei sat down to watch the others go through the interview. On the screen, the three detectives in question were just sitting down on the couch while a fat man took the chair opposite. Hiei glared at Botan. This wasn't quite as entertaining as she'd made it sound.

"…thinks he's Youko Kurama's reincarnation."

_Ah, now it's getting better_, Hiei thought Watching Yusuke trying to stumble through a believable explanation without revealing too much was always interesting.

"…Hiei!"

_What?_

"…He's from America."

Right. Hiei is the American friend that they met at a forum online. He thinks he's Youko Kurama reincarnate. Joy. Hiei the American friend was not amused. Koenma might find himself short a few detectives in the coming days. At least the replacements would learn not to include Hiei in their lame excuses.

"…username is, um, hieiflameboy."

Yup, Yusuke would definitely be hurting this time tomorrow.

"…reigan007…"

At least Kurama's sensible.

"…smartypants!"

Then again, Hiei might even have help taking Yusuke down. Not that he needed the help, but Kurama could be a tough opponent, especially when his pride or his mother were involved.

"…yukinasman!"

No way in HFIL was Hiei going to waste his precious time on Yusuke. Kurama could have him. Kuwabara would be Hiei's sole focus now. His essay sounded interesting, though. Maybe Hiei would read it after he took care of its unwitting author. Heh, Kurama's essay sounded boring. Hiei noticed everyone's reactions to Yusuke's slip up. He'd almost said that Kurama's human mother was Shiori! Really, it was almost as if he actually thought that the perfect student Minamino Shuichi was the notorious thief Youko Kurama! That sort of thing would be scandalous. Yusuke's essay raised some questions. Hiei would ask Kurama later. Maybe even over tea…Definitely over Yusuke and Kuwabara's bodies…

Oh well, the meeting finished. The detectives had to take pictures now, which ensured that Hiei could meet them outside the building with time to spare. Katana? Check. Victims? Check. Handy kitsune who could tie down victims with spiky plants? Check. Heh…time to go! They wouldn't know what hit them until they recovered and Hiei could rub it in their faces.

"Oh, Hiei?"

Great…Koenma wanted to talk.

"What?"

"You aren't allowed to hurt Yusuke, Kuwabara, or Kurama for anything having to do with the interview," said Koenma in a tiny voice. "Or for any other reason."

Whatever. At least Hiei could give them the extra-cold shoulder. That would work, especially with some death glares for Kuwabara, not holding back when they sparred, and possibly some good old haunting of dreams. Hiei turned and glared at Koenma for making his little addendum.

"Hn."

**Outside the Board of Education Director's Office**

Yusuke was the first to finish with pictures.

"Man, was that boring! Oh, hey, Hiei!"

Hiei smirked outwardly at Yusuke, but inside, he was outright smiling. The foolish detective couldn't recognize danger if it hit him. Hiei considered smacking Yusuke right then and there to test that theory, but he figured that Koenma might take that as an invitation to lengthen his sentence. No matter, he would have his revenge. Hiei almost chuckled aloud at the thought of his payback, but he managed to cover it up with a cough.

Kuwabara and Kurama came through the door then, saving Yusuke the trouble of trying to talk with Hiei, and sparing Hiei the temptation that came with being alone with Yusuke on a deserted street. Kurama quickly noticed the look on Hiei's face and suggested that they go for something to drink or maybe some ice cream. Kurama figured that Hiei had seen everything either through Reikai or through his jagan.

On the way to the ice cream store, Hiei surreptitiously loosened the headband over the jagan. He'd been into plenty of minds before, so Yusuke and Kuwabara posed no problem. Hiei figured he'd start with little things. Kuwabara's reaction came first. Hiei had tricked his mind into seeing all cats as sources of evil. It was simple to change a love of cats into all out fear.

_Silly me, I did that right next to a pet store…_

Yusuke's mind was a mess, but Hiei succeeded in telling his visual cortex to swap Keiko and Genkai. When Yusuke saw Keiko, his mind would register her as Genkai and vice versa.

Now that the cats were gone, Hiei removed the fear from Kuwabara, replacing it with a sharp pain in his back every time he stepped on a sidewalk crack. Just for good measure, Hiei included a lowered tolerance for cold and a severe allergy to hiruseki stones.

At long last, the group reached the ice cream shop. Kuwabara and Yusuke each got huge sundaes, each eager to out-eat the other.

_I wonder what a little lactose intolerance could do?_

Hiei discarded that idea, though, when he noticed that it was a very still and quiet day. Most people were in school or at work, the boys excused for the interview. Since it wouldn't scare anybody else, Hiei began using his jagan to shuffle things around in the alleys on either side of the ice cream store. He made the trees rustle even though there was no wind, he caused the illusion of eerie red eyes and huge teeth in the alleys, and he even made the boys hear growling and scraping of claws.

Yusuke stood up as soon as he finished his ice cream.

"Um, guys, I think there's something in that alley."

"Yeah, me too. I've got the chills."

Kurama, who hadn't seen or heard anything, was confused by this.

"I don't think there's anything there, Yusuke. Do you want me to check it out for you?"

"Nah, it's probably nothing," he said. "It's probably some low-class demon who's out to scare me."

_Low-class? If only you knew…_

The noises and illusions stopped as soon as they had started.

Yusuke shrugged it off as his imagination playing tricks on him. Little did he know that his break wouldn't last long. Genkai's shrine, his destination, wasn't as safe as he thought it was. Hiei followed Yusuke to the shrine, figuring Kuwabara could wait. Hiei was very patient when it came to revenge.


	3. Chapter the Third

**Halfway to Genkai's Temple**

_Aw man! I just remembered I don't have many shirts left. Stupid demons tearing my shirts…_

Yusuke perked up as he remembered that there must be a clothing store around somewhere. He was still close enough to town that he could stop over at the mall to get some shirts.

**At the Mall**

"Keikooooooo! We came without you because we thought you'd be studying. I probably should have called, huh?"

"No, no, that's all right. I was just taking a break when I remembered you guys would be here. I can't stay too long, though, because I really do need to study some more."

"Yeah, we can't let you get less than a perfect score, girl!"

"I'm not that obsessed with my grades!"

"Face it, Keiko, you'd get a pretty good score even if you didn't study. You pay enough attention in class for three."

"Not enough for Yusuke, though…"

"Speak of the devil…"

Yusuke was lost. He could really use Kuwabara's sense of direction about now. Not even the maps were helpful. There was nobody he could ask for directions, either.

_Face it, Yusuke, you're out of your element and you don't like it._

Groups of giggling girls passed him by, all talking. None of them looked like they wanted to give him directions until-

Genkai?

Yusuke pushed his way through the crowds to his teacher. She was walking toward the food shop, perhaps buying something sweet for Yukina and herself.

"Hey, old lady! Long time no see, eh? You sure don't get out much, do you? Hey, do you know where I could find some shirts? I just need plain ones for fighting in."

"Old lady? Yusuke! I've had about enough of you! Here I was worried about you and your grades… And if you think I'm going to help look for shirts for fighting, you've got another thing coming. You never even tell me you're off fighting, so I have to get second-hand reports from Botan. I hardly see you anymore!"

_I didn't know Genkai was worried about me… I wonder if these girls are Yukina's friends… I didn't even know that they left the temple, let alone make friends. I'll have to be more observant in the future._

"So, will you tell me where I can find shirts or not?"

"Yusuke, there are stores all around you. Go in and ask."

"Okay, okay! I'm going. Man, you can be such a- "

"Yusuke!"

For a while afterward, Yusuke would wonder just what he'd done. Usually, Genkai didn't seem to mind overmuch that Yusuke would call her an old lady or even 'Grandma'. She also threatened training rather than slap him. Maybe she was different around friends… Kuwabara sure was.

Yusuke found three shirts he liked, and he decided to resume his trek to Genkai's temple. maybe he'd apologize for whatever he did. Maybe not. Probably not.

**Genkai's Temple**

"Hey, Yukina!"

Yukina was sitting in her garden when Yusuke called. She'd entertained the idea of asking Hiei to come in to share some tea with her, but Hiei seemed preoccupied and strangely happy. Yukina smiled. Hiei could be so strange at times. She liked having Yusuke over. He and his friend Kazuma had done so much for her. Their boisterous natures contrasted nicely with Genkai's rather quiet tendencies. Yukina could see Genkai living quite happily as a hermit.

"Hello, Yusuke! Genkai went out for a little while. I hope you don't mind. Would you like some tea?"

"Sure, Yukina, tea would be nice. I saw Genkai while she was shopping. She's been acting kinda strange. Have you noticed?"

"She's been going out more than usual. She told me that she's just been going up the mountain to meditate. I didn't think she went shopping too."

"She was with some younger girls in a food store at the mall. Maybe she's lonely."

On her way back from the mountain, Genkai could hear Yusuke make his brash appearance. She wondered why he was here and if it had anything to do with the reason Hiei had been laughing to himself the entire afternoon.


	4. Chapter the Fourth

**At Genkai's Temple**

Yusuke had cajoled Yukina into playing a game against him by the time Genkai got in. She got herself some tea and prepared to have a nice long bath after Yusuke left. Genkai figured that Yusuke wouldn't come over for nothing. Settling herself down by the door, Genkai pulled out a newspaper. It wouldn't do for her to get behind on the local news while she was off meditating, now would it?

The newspaper gave mention of some interview that was to have taken place that morning, saying that some students at the local schools had won a prize and that there would be a full write up the next day. Genkai figured that Kurama would have won, so she made a note to check the paper tomorrow. Other than that…there was a bridge out, the environmentalists were complaining about over fishing, and there would be a cat show on the fourteenth of the month. Maybe Yukina wanted to go see the cats with Kuwabara. Genkai figured that she would call the Kuwabara residence and drop some hints. Now to figure out what Hiei was up to…

"Hiei, get down here."

"What do you want?"

Hiei was a bit annoyed about the interruption of his devious musings.

"Now, Hiei. I know you're up to something and I want to know what."

"Fine."

Hiei slid out of the tree to stand in front of Genkai. She looked serious, and while Hiei was pretty sure he would win, he didn't want to fight her if he didn't really have to.

"Tell me, Hiei."

"You know about the interview?"

"Heard of it."

"All three of them won something. They dragged me into it."

"And..?"

"Just revenge. Yusuke and the idiot."

"And the fox?"

"I don't know. He's patient, so he won't want to get them back."

"Does Koenma know?"

"I was in Reikai. He warned me, but I'm not hurting them or anything."

"Really…"

"If Yusuke acts weird, ignore it."

Hiei left at this, not wanting her to press him into telling more. She might find it interesting herself and not tell Yusuke.

Genkai returned to her tea to find it empty. She picked up the newspaper and took it inside with her. The clouds were gathering, and it looked like a storm would be coming that night. If Yusuke stayed much later, he'd have to stay the night. If he stayed, Genkai would be able to figure out what Hiei meant about Yusuke acting strangely.

In the kitchen, Yukina was making a stir fry for dinner. Yusuke liked that sort of food, so he was probably going to stay for dinner. Yusuke walked in, and Genkai noticed his eyes roaming over what was left of her figure. Just as she was about to demand that he explain himself, he spoke.

"Hey, nice skirt!"

Now where had she heard that one before? It was at a party Yukina had put together for the boys after the Dark Tournament. Yusuke was the one who said it…to Keiko! Hiei… How did he fit into this… The jagan? It had power over the weak-minded. Yusuke wasn't particularly weak-minded, but compared to Hiei who had worked on his mental strength to master the jagan… Genkai walked closer to Yukina, who sent Yusuke to wash his hands.

"Genkai? Yusuke said he saw you at the mall earlier. How was your trip?"

"The mall? I- The trip went well, thank you."

"That's good. I made stir fry for dinner. Yusuke asked me to make it. He really likes my cooking."

"You do an excellent job. It's no wonder he likes it."

Yukina smiled as Yusuke came back in. She handed out bowls of hot food, saying that she would bring some tea in.

Yusuke looked over at Keiko again. She wasn't yelling at him or slapping him, which he found odd, but she wasn't speaking to him or looking at him either. Maybe something was wrong…

"Are you feeling okay?"

Genkai looked up, remembering that Yusuke was seeing Keiko, not herself. As long as he wasn't hitting on her… Genkai figured that she'd better stop him before he got too far.

"Shut up."

Yusuke figured that Keiko was mad at him, as usual. He hadn't studied for the test tomorrow, he'd gotten to skip school to go to the interview, and he'd commented on her skirt. Oh well, her silence was better that her nagging.

"Are you staying here tonight, Yusuke?"

"Um, probably. I saw the clouds, and my house is a long way off, so yeah."

"Okay! I'll make your room up after dinner. Is the room by the bathroom okay for you?"

"Yeah, thanks Yukina."

The rest of the dinner passed in silence. Yusuke preferred Keiko's silence to anything else, and he didn't want to bother Genkai, wherever she was. Genkai was just eating. She didn't normally talk too much during meals unless Yukina was particularly chatty that day. Yukina was wondering about Yusuke. She'd noticed something odd, but figured that she could ask Genkai after Yusuke's room was made up.

**That Night**

"Genkai? May I ask a question?"

"What is it, Yukina?"

"Yusuke…He's been acting differently lately. I noticed just today."

"Hiei told me something odd today. He mentioned that Yusuke would act like this. I think he's controlling something that affects Yusuke's perception. I haven't been to the store all day, but he's seen me. He addressed me earlier like he does with Keiko."

"Oh, I think I understand better, but why would Hiei do that?"

"He mentioned something that will be in the newspaper tomorrow. We'll see then."

"Good night, Genkai."

Genkai nodded to show she had indeed heard Yukina. Tomorrow would hopefully clear this up.

**The Next Day**

Hiei had dropped control in Yusuke's mind. This wasn't going the way he'd planned! It wasn't bothering Yusuke at all! Hiei wished once again that he could just openly attack Yusuke, but Koenma was watching…

Oh well.

Sarayashiki was now covered with toilet paper, coats of spray paint, and derogatory notes, courtesy of "Yusuke". Hiei had distracted Koenma with a false story of a coming demon insurgence. There were stink bombs, indelible dye, and no electricity waiting for the students. Hiei didn't normally work like this, but he certainly felt better. Today, he had gone so far as to line up a few odd jobs with Botan. She had been overworked lately, and he would need an alibi for the day.


	5. Chapter the Fifth

**At Genkai's Temple**

Genkai sent Yukina to buy a newspaper earlier than usual. She was interested to read the article that had sparked Hiei's recent creativity. Not ten minutes later, Yukina sat by Genkai holding out some tea. Genkai noticed that Yukina had the folded newspaper next to her. That was good. Genkai hated being kept in the dark. Yukina handed her the newspaper and she carefully unfolded it. It wasn't front-page news, so Yusuke hadn't done anything _too_ bad. Genkai read the entire article through twice. As Yukina cleared the tea cups and started on lunch, Genkai briefly wondered what Hiei was doing now.

**At Sarayashiki**

The students were settling into class. In a few moments, Hiei would lift the façade to show off his handiwork. Good thing the "culprit" was late again.

The first break of the day was normally a peaceful one. This time, the classes poured out of the building, wondering how any of this…this destruction, this wreckage, this _mayhem_ could have happened.

The principal of Sarayashiki was, in his mind, a very important man. He had to run a school in addition to all those city board meetings! He should get more respect! He returned from his bathroom break to find a present from 'Yusuke' all over his desk.

His ink pens were destroyed; the ink was splashed all over the walls. His papers had been ripped out of the file folders and had been glued all over his new wallpaper, his new-ish desk, his leather chair, and the fake fireplace. He decided to call the secretary, but, yes, his phone was covered in glue and important papers. He did what any self-respecting principal would do. He pulled on his hair and ran screaming to the secretary's office where he yelled at her to call the police.

What was taking the police so long to get to Sarayashiki? It wasn't like they were far away… The principal glared at the mess on his desk and out the window to the police car-free parking lot. A frustrated scream welled up in his throat and forced its way out as he kicked his desk.

All over the rest of the building, the students had mixed emotions. The more studious ones were lamenting the destruction of the school and, especially, of their homework. Some, the delinquent types, were celebrating the fact that school would most likely be closed for repairs. The younger students were running through the fountain of water caused by ruptured pipes.

It seemed like ages, but the police finally showed up. Parking their car, they ran into a few potholes, nearly running over some students trying to swerve out of the way. When the police officers left their car, they were met with the loud sound of rushing water, screaming and crying children, a flood to wade through, and a principal to find.

Although he could barely see it, the principal heard the police car pull up to a parking spot. What with all the banging and scraping, it wasn't something he had to listen for. Seeing the officers close the car doors, he decided to go out and meet him. Not like they would be able to find him in _this_ mess.

On the other side of town, Yusuke had beaten his previous high score on Demon Slayer III.

Hiei was just arriving in Reikai to help Botan for the day.

Kurama was in class, taking notes and being all-around brilliant.

Genkai and Yukina had finished the paper.

Koenma was clueless and bored. He hated stamping.

Kuwabara was suspicious, but left school early because of the circumstances. He didn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Botan wondered why Hiei of all people…demons…whatever! decided to help her. She didn't look her gift horse in the mouth either.

Keiko was mad.

**At the Urameshi House**

"Open up! This is the police!"

They were looking for Yusuke, of course, at the principal's insistence, but all they would find was Atsuko, who was nursing a hangover and not in the mood for visitors. Yusuke had gone to school; rather, Yusuke had gone to school as far as Keiko was watching him. The moment her friend showed up, he was gone.

Atsuko decided that getting up would be worse than anything the police could throw at her. As long as she didn't have to move…

The police assumed that they were encountering resistance, as they could see Atsuko sitting _right there_ and not letting them in. Two of the four went around to the back to check the other doors. The back door was always unlocked. Yusuke, she knew, always brought his house keys on missions. There were probably enough keys to the Urameshi house lying around Makai that he could readily get another one. Still, she left the back door open for him.

The police were inside now, letting their two compatriots in through the front door. One stood behind Atsuko on the couch, and the other three fanned out in front of her. Atsuko hoped fervently that they wouldn't make her move. They were saying something, but it hurt too much to concentrate. Suddenly, she jumped up and raced to the bathroom. She had surprised all the officers, so she had managed to squeeze past them as she ran. They shouted after her, ordering her to come back.

They found her retching in the bathroom and, deciding that she wouldn't go anywhere, waited outside the door. Finally, she came out, slumping against one of the officers as she struggled to maintain her balance. They led her downstairs and began questioning her. She told them that Keiko came to walk Yusuke to school, that she didn't know if he was here last night, and that, yes, he did seem to disappear sometimes, though she told them that she didn't now where he went.

The officers left soon after, and they cautioned Atsuko not to drink too much, especially before driving. Still a bit bleary but feeling better overall, she nodded and waved them out the door. Sinking down into the couch, she realized that she hadn't asked just what Yusuke had don't this time.

**Ferrying Souls**

"Wow, Hiei! It was sure nice of you to help me today. It just… I'm not ungrateful, but…why are you helping me?"

_Which story should I use..?_

Botan noticed a small smile appear on Hiei's face and…was that a blush creeping up his face? She was so startled by this that she didn't notice the jagan glow faintly under Hiei's headband, showing that a thread of compulsion would soon be worming itself into her head.

"Botan…I…don't know how to tell you."

"Tell me what, Hiei?"

"I… Well, you know about my…past, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"Please understand that this is hard for me to say, okay?"

"Got it."

"Botan…I don't really…understand…love, but I think I… I love you."

"Hiei, I… I don't know what to say! I've never been told _that_ before!"

A big grin found its way onto Botan's face. Hiei managed to contort his into a suitably bashful-yet-hopeful smile. Inside, Botan was glowing at the promise of someone to go out with. She had been one of the few ferrygirls without a special someone for quite a while now. While Hiei had been caustic sometimes, she felt that his smile was a sign that he would let her see him for who he truly was.

Hiei, on the other hand, had mixed feelings. He was relieved that she'd bought his excuse and that the compulsion worked, somewhat disgusted at what he'd have to do to _uphold_ the alibi, a tiny bit guilty when he realized that she'd be heartbroken, and quite a great bit gleefully vindictive as his alibi was solid enough to pass by Koenma, if not Kurama.

"So, Botan, shall we begin?"

She looked surprised by this for some reason, and it took her a while to compose herself enough to answer. She blushed slightly.

"Begin what?"

Her mind was buzzing with possible implications, her job having been thrown violently out of her mind.

"Well, when I asked to help you, I expected to, you know, help with your job."

Hiei was disgusted by himself. His sickeningly sweet tones and mannerisms were borrowed from a young love-struck man.

"Oh, right. Let's go then!"

"Where to first?"

"There was an uprising in China. That'll take most of the day."

**In Reikai**

"Koenma sir! Something's happened!"

"What is it now, Jorge?"

"It's Yusuke, sir. He's vandalized his school! One of the ferry girls is bringing him here right now."


	6. Chapter the Sixth

**In Reikai**

Koenma stood, his back facing Yusuke, trying to look intimidating. Unfortunately, Yusuke knew Koenma too well. Oh well…

"Yusuke, I'm sure you know why I've called you here."

"You lost your nightlight?"

"No."

"You lost your pacifier?"

"No!"

"You left something really valuable where some thief could steal it? You really should get better security. At least don't have huge signs every hundred feet showing a map."

"What's wrong with a map?"

"Last time I looked, the maps listed the vaults _and_ their contents. You're saying, 'Hello, thief. You are here. Treasure is here. Exits are here, here, and here. Guard shift schedules posted below. Have a nice day!'"

"It is not!"

"Is too!"

"It is **not**!"

"Is too!"

"Yusuke! I can't believe you. What are you doing here anyway?"

"You don't know? You're the one who wanted me here! Did you mess up really bad or just sorta bad?"

"NO, you moron! You trashed your school!"

"I did not!"

"You signed the walls, Yusuke! In paint!"

"That doesn't mean it was me! Can't you, like, rewind your T.V. thingy so you can see? I wasn't even _near_ school today!"

"That's not a good thing!"

"It is when it proves I didn't do it!"

"Who did it then? Kuwabara? Hiei?"

"Actually, that's not too bad, _Junior_."

"Don't call me that! Those two couldn't have done this. Kuwabara actually cares about his grades, and Hiei has been in China."

"China?"

"Don't ask. Now explain what possessed you to do such a thing!"

"Hey, now that I remember, there was something in the alley by the ice cream shop. I thought it might have been some low-class demon. They've been bothering me a lot lately."

"So you think they'd try to frame you for this…"

"I didn't say anything, but I got this threat letter this morning from some guy who calls himself Mr. W."

"You probably wouldn't know this, but Club W has been around from the beginnings of Makai history as an anti-Tantei group. What did the letter say?"

"Just the usual threats against friends and family, you can not trace us, you can not find us, signed Mr. W."

"I may have a mission for you after all, Yusuke. Wait a few minutes."

Koenma rushed into an adjacent room, and Yusuke heard mumbling and a few clicks. Koenma came out with a video cassette in hand.

"This is your mission," he said, "Get everyone else and watch this informational tape that I, Koenma, have made!"

"Can't you just tell me?"

"No! That ruins the surprise!"

Yusuke grabbed the tape roughly and stalked out of Reikai, muttering about stupid toddlers with oversized egos.

"Yusuke! Remember that Hiei's in China, so he won't be there with you!"

That made finding everyone a whole lot easier. Hiei did tend to show up on his own, but it was disconcerting to wonder how you were going to find him if he didn't. Still, Hiei was dead useful when things got dirty. His physical strength wasn't amazing, but his speed more than made up for that. At least Kurama would be there. If they ended up having to search the Makai for Club W, he wouldn't get very far even with Kuwabara's senses. There were just too many demons!

Reaching for his communicator, Yusuke tried to contact Kurama first, but he wasn't getting anywhere. After a few more tries, he gave up, figuring that he'd at least find Kuwabara so he wasn't bored out of his skull by himself.

Not ten minutes later, Yusuke and Kuwabara were making their way to the arcade to meet each other. They kept trying to reach Kurama in between beating each other at Tetris (at Kuwabara's insistence) and Street Fighter (because Yusuke wanted to win _some _of the games).

When they got too loud for the arcade manager's liking, they found themselves walking to Kurama's house. For some reason, they hadn't been able to talk to Kurama yet. They rang the doorbell, and they waited for two good minutes before Shiori opened the door. She apologized for the delay; she had been putting the laundry into the dryer.

"Hey! Is K- "

Kuwabara stopped Yusuke's near-miss with a loud cough.

"Is Shuichi here?" asked Kuwabara, "We wanted to talk to him."

"Are you his friends?"

They nodded, and she pressed further,

"Maybe you can help me. I was getting his laundry when I found a makeup compact in the pocket of a pair of his pants. I mean, he might not… Well, do you two know why he carries a _flashing_ makeup compact around? He's always been so careful about how he looks, but I don't want to jump to conclusions. I want him to know that I'll support him no matter what, but I don't want to sound like I'm assuming too much. He's never brought girls home. I know they all love him; they send him all these letters, but he doesn't answer more than is necessary."

By this time, Shiori was near hysterical. How would they explain that 'Shuichi' didn't like girls a mere fraction of his age without making him sound like he was some demon who 'happened' to be in her son's body? Kuwabara had it covered.

"Maybe a girl gave it to him as a gift and he didn't want to seem rude? He probably took it and forgot about it. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who'd just leave important stuff in his pocket."

"No, he isn't…"

She gestured to his closet, to the clothes he'd fought in during the Dark Tournament.

"These just seem a bit feminine. Is he a cross-dresser? I heard him talking with his friend Hiei, and Hiei said something about a dress."

Right. That had been one of their stranger ideas. Hiei had never played Truth or Dare before, and it seemed _wrong_ to let him live his life and not know of such games! Yusuke remembered how good Hiei was at thinking up dares. He, along with Kurama on a subsequent dare, had been dared to go into a strip club, in drag, and kiss at least five drunk men.

"I'm sorry, boys. Shuichi is still at school. Speaking of that, why aren't you two in school?"

"Our school was closed," said Kuwabara, "There was pretty bad vandalism. They're doing cleanup."

"Would you two like some lunch at least?"

Yusuke's eyes grew wide

"You're amazing, you know that?"

Shiori smiled and led the way into the kitchen, asking the boys what they'd like to eat. Yusuke was happy with the prospect of food, but Kuwabara was planning out what he'd say in case Shiori asked some other questions that might pose problems. ("Where does he go? You're gone at the same time, I've noticed.") She probably wouldn't notice, but it would be good of him to think ahead and be prepared, especially since Yusuke wouldn't be any help there.

**In China**

"Man, that massacre was brutal! I'm glad you came to help us, Hiei."

Hiei forced a smile. Koenma would have called for him by now if he'd found out, right? Koenma would have suspected Yusuke first, probably. Not risking Koenma noticing his probe, Hiei lightly touched Yusuke's mind, trying to find out Koenma's reaction.

Hiei smiled for real this time. He'd noticed the veiled threats from Club W as well as their letter. Off the hook from one thing did not mean he could relax, however. If only he'd gone to train in the Makai or something instead of coming here, he wouldn't have had to deal with Botan thinking that he loved her. Of all things he could have said… In any case, he was in the present, and she was his very real problem.

Botan noticed Hiei staring off into space with a faraway look on his face. He was smiling now; did that mean that he was thinking of her? He was probably thinking of her. In his mind they would be running across a field, holding hands, making their way to a picnic that Hiei had packed. They would sit by the sparkling blue water, gazing into each other's eyes, and she would whisper sweet nothings into his ears.

In Hiei's mind, he was dreaming of freedom from Koenma's silly rules. Clothed in the shadows of night, he roamed Makai, terrorizing the denizens of the deep, robbing and killing, coating the fields with the blood of his victims. Even King Enma would bow to him. He ruled Makai through fear, and none dared to oppose him.

Botan and Hiei sighed in unison. They turned and looked at each other, and looked away again. As Hiei turned toward the distant mountains, he scowled again. How could he get rid of Botan? Killing her would bring more trouble, which was too bad; that was an easy way to bury problems.


	7. Chapter the Seventh

**After School, Meiou**

Kurama strolled leisurely down the halls of Meiou humming a lesser-known Makai drinking song to himself. Kuronue loved that song… It was one of the nicer songs, but it was rare to hear it now, as it had a lilting melody and was considered too light for a true Makai bar. In addition, it was a bit long to remember if you were properly drunk. Kurama had been singing it earlier, and he was surprised to get a number of compliments on how nice the song was. If only they knew…

A long weekend was coming up, and Kurama planned on spending it doing relatively nothing. Of course, three-day weekends were rare, and they most always managed to get filled up with some sort of long, boring job for Reikai. That or some highly dangerous mission that was probably unnecessary for one reason or another.

Kurama walked home wrapped in his own thoughts of missions and of Kuronue, of Shiori and of the two upcoming holidays. His thoughts drifted slowly to Yusuke, and he wondered if the vandalism reports were true. The police had been by all the other schools in the area, telling about how vandalism was wrong, disgraceful, disrespectful… Kurama had given up listening after the opening.

Lost in thought as he was, Kurama was a moving hazard for all the other people on the sidewalk. He'd almost toppled an old lady and her grandson as they were coming out of the store already, and things were looking worse. He narrowly missed stepping on dogs' feet and toddlers' fingers and toes as he swept by the shops. He got in the way of movers near the furniture and piano stores. He caused one young mother to nearly spill her cumbersome grocery bag as she tried to save her three-year-old from being run over.

Finally, Kurama made it home. Yusuke's laughter was loud enough that passersby looked in confusion and wonderment that the inhabitants of the usually quiet house were so loud today. Kurama groaned inside. That Yusuke was there meant that there would be something from Koenma, and that meant no long weekend.

Kurama walked slowly up to the door, willing Yusuke to disappear.  
Fortunately for Yusuke, his mother was there. Fortunately for Koenma, he was far away. Collecting his thoughts, Kurama opened the door.

Shiori heard the door open and went to greet her son. He looked a bit tired, but he had just come from school. Yusuke looked out of the kitchen too. Kurama did look a bit off, and his eyes flashed gold when Yusuke made eye contact. Bad sign. Maybe, Yusuke thought, he and Kuwabara could do the mission alone this time. They didn't need Kurama angry at them. Yusuke wondered to himself what he could have done. Maybe Kurama would yell at him for defacing property and trees or something like that. Maybe Kurama just had a bad day. In that case, Yusuke was fine. The problem was that Yusuke couldn't tell the difference.

Kurama was escorted into the kitchen and placed into a chair across from Kuwabara. Shiori smiled and asked him if he too was home early due to the vandalism. Kurama looked at Yusuke and told Shiori about the police visits to the schools, leaving Yusuke's name out. After Yusuke and Kuwabara had eaten, the three boys went to Kurama's room. Yusuke told Kurama the basics and asked if he could go with them to Kuwabara's house to watch the video. After Kurama told Shiori that he was going to tutor Kuwabara and Yusuke in math, they left.

At Kuwabara's house, Yusuke and Shizuru debated who would have to make the popcorn to watch during the tape. Kurama finally got up would have done it himself except that Yusuke complained that it would take the fun out of arguing. Ten minutes later, Shizuru came out of the kitchen with bags of popcorn. Yusuke put the tape into the TV and turned it on.

As usual, Koenma could have made it easier by explaining it in person, but between Yusuke and Kurama they knew enough of the situation to get a good idea of what Koenma forgot to mention.

"So?" Yusuke asked. He was on the floor looking pointedly at Kurama.

"So what, Yusuke?"

"So do you know where this Club W is? You're the only one here who's been in Makai."

"Actually, Yusuke, you _have_ been as well."

"Missions don't count," interjected Kuwabara. "We weren't sightseeing or looking at scenery or buildings and stuff."

"Yeah, we were kinda busy fighting…"

"You have a point. I'm pretty sure where the club is, but I'll check again. How soon do you want to go?"

"I guess it depends on how important this is," said Kuwabara. "It sounds like this is just a weird, corrupt guy, but he's been that way for a while, right? A bit longer won't hurt. Did Koenma say we have to do this right away?"

"He said that we wouldn't have Hiei, which would slow us down since none of us has a jagan. Did he say how long Hiei would be gone, Yusuke?"

"He said that Hiei's been helping the ferry girls at a massacre in China. I don't know how long it would take to ferry all those souls… It can't be longer than a week, so he's probably expecting us to be done by then. How long will it take you to find out where the club is, Kurama?"

"If I use my plants to send a message that far, we might get an answer by tomorrow night. We could leave in two days."

"Wait, what are we going to do if we don't find out where it is?"

"I know the general area, so we'll just have to search for it."

"Hey, guys, I might not know you too well, but isn't this _way_ more planning than you normally do?" asked Shizuru, who was sitting in the chair next to the TV. "I mean, I can see Kurama planning all this, but you two are more… impulsive."

"I would have said reckless…" added Kurama

"Hey! We come up with something before we get there!"

"Kuwabara, I don't think your sister is talking about the sort of plan that involves 'Kill that guy there!'"

"But this is the first time Koenma is leaving us on our own. Before, he's given us a way in that's nearby or a name to look for. This time we have somebody's alias and the name of a club. We don't even get Hiei."

"Good point, Yusuke, but this is also one of the first times that Ningenkai hasn't been threatened. They're after Reikai, specifically us. I guess it's not as serious."

Kuwabara was indignant. "Hey! Don't we mean anything?"

"Guess not, baby bro."

"Not compared to all of Ningenkai, anyway," added Kurama.

Yusuke summed up the situation: "So we go to Makai, but we don't know where this guy is. You have an idea based on your contact, but it's tentative. He'll be in the nicer areas of the larger cities. We don't get Hiei unless he finishes up in China before we're done. Since we don't have much information, we'll take a while. He's been picking off Tantei, so first priority is to bring him to Reikai alive, but dead is better than nothing. That right, Kurama?"

"Sounds good to me. From what I've heard, it's said that Mr. W is quite often seen in the north. He hasn't been seen recently, but there are several accounts over the past month that show him heading north-east. There is a large city in the area, so we should start there. I'll try to get something more recent before we leave."

The boys discussed the mission a while longer until it was time for Kurama to go home. Shiori would want him for dinner and he still had to get the message out asking for details on Club W and its owner. Since Atsuko would most likely be out drinking tonight, Yusuke stayed and talked some more, even offering to contribute some money to the pizza Shizuru was going to order. He had come across a young boy in the arcade who had been more than happy to share his money.

When Shizuru got back with the pizza, Yusuke and Kuwabara were playing video games, as usual. If Shizuru didn't know what they were capable of, she wouldn't trust them to take care of the world. The world wouldn't _really_ need saving until Yusuke got his driver's license. She figured she could trust Kazuma with a car eventually, but Yusuke seemed like one of those people you really couldn't picture ten years later with a steady job and a wife and kids, let alone a car. She could see Kazuma all grown up for sure. Kurama had been 'all grown up' a very long time ago. Then again, Hiei was old too, but he wasn't very mature. Maybe she was seeing him in the wrong company. Yusuke could make anyone frustrated enough to act like they were eight. Sometimes he even flustered _Kurama_.

Yusuke ended up going home very late. His mother had been brought home drunk again, but this time the police officers had waited around just to talk to him. Yusuke groaned. Everyone was on his case for the vandalism thing, weren't they? Nobody would believe that he was innocent! Given his track record, Yusuke wasn't too surprised. If he hadn't been with himself all day, he wouldn't believe a word he said either. He _had_ been there, though. They should believe him! He could prove it! With himself as witness… Right. They'd think he was crazy. If he added that the prince of Hell didn't believe him either, they wouldn't wait for a relative to commit him to an institution; they'd pack him off themselves. Joy. Yusuke just _loved_ police, especially the way they listened to everything you didn't say, except when it would have been helpful.

Inside, Atsuko was flirting with a young police officer. His (much) older partner sighed. Getting through to her was useless, but that delinquent had to come home soon. Job or not, this was getting boring. Twenty years ago, it would have been him who was fending off the drunken women. Now they hardly glanced his way. They'd sing lovingly to a barstool before they'd talk with him. His partner (blast it all!) wasn't grateful for his youth.

The younger officer was confused. His partner had been glaring at him all day, especially since he was being… petted by this woman they'd brought home. He figured that his senior was angry because he wasn't handling the situation correctly. He tried asking her kindly to move a bit farther over, please, and not to cling, especially _there_. He tried to patiently explain why his shirt should, in fact, remain on, and he even moved away a few feet, but his superior officer's glare only deepened. What was wrong with these people?

Atsuko was confused as well. The cute young man who'd come home with her didn't seem to understand her! Seeing how well-muscled he was reminded her of Yusuke, who was…where? Atsuko couldn't remember if he was supposed to be here or not or even if he really was still alive. Her grip relaxed on the young officer's shirt, and he stepped aside quickly. Unfortunately, Atsuko was still attached to his shirt, so she came plowing into him. They fell over together, and Atsuko had enough sense of self-preservation left to put out her arm. This left her elbow over the officer's face, which left his nose a broken, bloody mess.

Yusuke walked up to the doorway still sulking to himself. At least a mission would get him out of the house for a while. Maybe Yukina would check on Atsuko every few days. Heck, she'd probably love to do something to help. She might even be able to get Atsuko to stop drinking altogether with those pleading eyes. You just couldn't refuse her anything when she looked at you like that. Maybe getting Atsuko to stop drinking would be a bit too optimistic. Maybe she'd just drink less. At least she'd promise to…


	8. Chapter the Eighth

**In China**

Hiei and Botan were still sitting together. The other ferrygirls had gone off to finish the job, saying that they could do it by themselves. This was accompanied by so much winking and nudging that Hiei was beginning to suspect that subtlety was not a required trait for ferrygirls. He'd thought that it was just Botan who had a problem, but sadly, it was contagious. They'd have to quarantine Reikai before it spread. Imagine taking a mission in Makai and finding all the demons willing to help you out and point you in the right direction with a smile. Hiei shuddered at the thought. Imagine if he got infected! He might even act respectfully toward Koenma, who would probably have a heart attack. Come to think of it, lots of people and demons would have heart attacks if Hiei was all bubbly and cuddly. Hiei thought of the implications. He could change his name to Kira, maybe send threats to people he didn't think were worthy of living… What to threaten them with… There just weren't any good threats for bubbly people, though, so if he threatened them, he'd be back to normal and they wouldn't be worried about him anymore.

Just then, Hiei noticed that Botan had been talking all this time. Trying not to show that he hadn't been listening, he tried to understand what she had been talking about all this time.

Lovely. She was talking about marriage (their marriage!) and children (_their_ children!!) and 'do you think they'd have spiky blue hair?' (the heck?) and 'I hope they don't have your temper.' (she's really serious, isn't she?)

Hiei tuned her out again. He was speechless for once; he couldn't think of any words that could describe this feeling of absolute dread that had come over him. This was supposed to get him out of trouble with Yusuke, not lead to…this. He didn't know where he'd gotten the idea that he was marrying her. She'd probably asked him if his goal in getting her alone was to propose, and she had mistakenly assumed his passive, expressionless face meant that he was in agreement but too embarrassed to mention anything. Couldn't he think anymore without his silence being misinterpreted? If this was what the worlds were coming to, he wanted no part in them.

Botan, for her part, was chattering away happily. She had, in fact, gotten the idea Hiei's proposal from Hinageshi, who had overheard Hiei asking Koenma for the extra assignment and assumed that something was going to happen between Hiei and Botan. She wasn't too sure that Hinageshi was right; after all, this was Hiei. Maybe she didn't know him as well as she thought she did. He was moving pretty quickly, though; he hadn't taken her out yet, and he was already asking… He hadn't actually asked yet, but he didn't object to her suggestions about their children. Maybe Hiei wasn't going to propose today. He wasn't the sort to do that, she was sure. Still, there was a nagging doubt in the back of her mind. He was going to propose later! That must be it. Hinageshi had heard him getting Koenma's permission to marry one of his ferrygirls and assumed it would be today. Hiei, on the other hand, was looking ahead to the time when he had courted her properly so he could propose then. Botan laughed aloud and smiled at Hiei.

"I've got you all figured out. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I'll tell Hinageshi not to spread any rumors about us before you're ready. It's hard not to gossip, but I'll try. I know how shy you are. It's okay, though; I'll be here for you whenever you need me."

Hiei was momentarily thrown off balance. He quickly recovered, however, and responded weakly with an, "Umm…..okay."

Not the best reply, but he hadn't felt like he'd been up to date with Botan's mood changes. First she was going to marry him, then she was giving him up. What next? Hiei picked up his borrowed oar and gruffly told Botan that he was going to collect more souls. Maybe if he finished quickly enough he would catch up with someone not named Botan.

The oars used by the ferrygirls had cloaking capabilities that had to be consciously activated to spread to the person on it. Hiei left so suddenly that he forgot to activate the invisibility. He flew low over the bloody field, looking for bodies. _There!_

Hiei got closer and saw three young girls crouched over the body, probably their mother.

_Trying to escape and you ran into the battle? Not very smart, even for a human. _

One of the girls looked up, feeling the rush of displaced air. Hiei expected her to look through him, seeing nothing, so he was surprised to find her staring and pointing right at him. The other two girls looked at Hiei, just as surprised.

"You came to take our aunt away from us!"

Hiei saw no point in arguing. "Yes."

"You're a witch!"

"A…witch?"

"Yes!" The oldest girl reached into her pocket and pulled out a camera. She pointed it at Hiei and snapped a picture.

"Got your soul!"

"You what?"

"I have your soul! Now you have to grant me three wishes!"

"No." Hiei reached out and pulled the soul of the girls' aunt onto the oar. He didn't want to put up with this! He needed a female-free day. He got onto the oar, careful to cloak himself this time, and flew off, eager to leave those annoying little brats with their dead bodies and soul-stealing cameras. Hiei knew what cameras were. He wasn't totally ignorant of things in the human world like some thought.

**Yusuke's House, 3 a.m., the next day**

"Kuwabara, wake up! If you don't, I'll kill Yukina and get Shizuru and Genkai here after your sorry life!"

Unfortunately, Kuwabara was asleep, blissfully ignorant of the threats.

"That does it!"

Yusuke powered up his reigan. Kuwabara woke up. It was just that easy. Yusuke didn't expect Kuwabara to wake up. He fired the reigan. Kuwabara dodged just in time. The left half of his pajamas was burnt and falling off.

"Dude, Urameshi! You're supposed to ask before undressing people!"

"Like I'd want to look at you!"

"Then why did you shoot that thing at me?! You want to kill me?"

"Then I wouldn't have to listen to you talk about me undressing you! Maybe it's what you want, eh?"

"In your dreams!"

"Nah, I dream about Keiko, not you."

"Whatever! Are we going to Makai today?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Then let's go!"

"Yeah… You can go in your boxers, but I'm gonna get changed."

"Then can we go?"

"No, we have to get Kurama."

"Why can't he go to Makai his way and we can go our way?"

"Because he's the one who knows where we're going, idiot!"

"I'm not an idiot!"

"Yes you are!"

"At least I don't skip class!"

"Wow, aren't you the greatest?"

The two continued bickering as they pulled on their shoes and ran to Kurama's house. Kurama was getting ready as well, trying not to wake anyone up. Yusuke and Kuwabara would be coming soon, and Kurama would have to meet them a block away so they didn't forget about Shiori and come knocking on his door. Kurama had spent the night thinking over possible outcomes and planning for the worst. He liked to be several steps ahead, especially in case there was an emergency. Slipping into his shoes, he carefully padded down the sidewalk to the empty field where he would meet Yusuke and Kuwabara to head off on a mission that seemed too open-ended for Kurama's taste. It reminded him of a trap, like the time Kuronue was killed…


	9. Chapter the Ninth

Kurama waited in the field for three minutes, waiting for Yusuke and Kuwabara. His thoughts, already turned toward Kuronue, started spiraling downward into regret. Kurama tried to pull himself out of it; brooding on a potentially dangerous mission was bad, and Yusuke and Kuwabara might be killed. That's why Kuronue died. They had been too wrapped up in their success to scan the area for traps. He couldn't afford to let it happen again. Then again, Yusuke would probably come back to life… Still, it was the principle of the thing, right?

Yusuke came sprinting around the corner and almost knocked Kurama over. He looked around the corner and laughed. "Guess Kuwabara's gonna be a while."

Kurama looked exasperated. "What did you do now, Yusuke?"

Yusuke looked sheepish. "I left him with Shizuru. He was the one who spilled the milk, not me. I told him I didn't need breakfast, but he decided that, as long as we were getting dressed, we could eat too. I just left. He left too, but he knocked over the milk and Shizuru saw and made him clean it up."

"You could have helped him."

"What? And face the Wrath of Shizuru?"

"She's not that bad, Yusuke."

"Right. Just 'cause you're a pretty boy! Nobody hates you!"

Kurama chose not to answer Yusuke, as he was getting louder and louder. He sighed and walked around the corner.

"I'm going to find Kuwabara. I want to go as soon as possible. I couldn't think up a good excuse I haven't used already. Shiori will be worried, and she probably won't let me out of her sight for weeks!"

"You'd think she'd be used to you just leaving by now."

"I know, but she's overprotective."

"Dude, my mom's okay with everything. You should just tell her."

"Yusuke, your mom was drunk. That's why she's okay with it. That and she's seen you fighting. My mom would faint. Shiori is not Atsuko. She isn't quite so…okay with killing things. She cries over plants when she digs them up."

"Don't you? I thought you were the plant freak."

"If I like the plant, I keep seeds. She cries over geraniums. They don't even have teeth."

"Right. Whatever you say."

Kurama smiled. He always won conversations.

Kuwabara came running down the block on the other side of the street. He didn't notice Kurama and Yusuke. Kurama waved at him, but he didn't notice. Yusuke started running. He caught up with Kuwabara easily and tackled him hard. They fell on the ground and started fighting. Kurama sighed. Hopefully they would get the fight out of them before they got through the kekkai. Maybe that was hoping for a bit too much, but at least in Makai they'd have demons to fight. At Club W, (if they ever found it) they would have more fights. Plenty of fights so they wouldn't have to fight each other. Right? Maybe? Small chance? Kurama knew that it was a waste of time to hope. Yusuke and Kuwabara were born to fight each other. It was like a force of nature or something. Kurama decided to intervene. He pulled Yusuke off Kuwabara and ordered them to be quiet. If he sounded a bit more like Youko or his eyes had a bit of gold, neither boy said anything. They didn't ever argue when Kurama was in one of his moods.

"Dude, I should've done the essay on stupid kitsune mood swings! It would've been awesome!"

"How would you do that?"

"Like some insane kitsune demolishing cities because he failed a biology test. Yeah, that sounds lame."

"Yeah, it does."

"What did you say?"

"Yusuke! Kuwabara! Shut up!"

**In China**

Hiei was bored. They were almost done with the soul ferrying, and Hiei wanted nothing more than to get out of China. His revenge on Yusuke was still incomplete. That stupid detective just wasn't affected!

"Hiei? If you want, you can leave early. Take these souls and tell Koenma we're almost done."

Hiei didn't even look at the ferrygirl who spoke to him; he raced off to Reikai, already planning his next revenge attempt.

**In Reikai**

Koenma was working on paperwork as usual. He hardly looked up as Hiei flew through Reikai at breakneck speed, flattening several oni along the way. He raced into Koenma's office, pushed the souls off the oar, and demanded to know where Yusuke was. Koenma answered calmly as if this sort of thing happened every day.

"He's not here. I sent him on a mission. Someone's been following him, and I think it's Club W. They shouldn't have left yet, so go find them!"

Hiei smiled. It seemed that they hadn't figured out that he had been the one messing with Yusuke's mind. He walked out of Reikai slowly; he had lots of ideas, but he wasn't quite sure which to use first. Let's see…

Hiei followed Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara into Makai. It hadn't taken him long to find them, and he smiled wickedly when they started discussing how much harder the mission would be without the use of his jagan. This part of Makai was hot and barren. Hiei had a plan. There was a clump of trees coming up, and he could hear Kuwabara asking if they could rest in the shade for a while. Back when Hiei was young, he had tried several different types of summoning. One of the first creatures he was able to summon consistently was a flaming puffball. He'd seen it as a sign of his weakness at the time, and he still wouldn't admit to summoning it, but it had its uses. Hiei called several of the fiery creatures and told them to wait in the bushes and attack the next people to walk by. Hiei flickered ahead to watch from another tree.

Kuwabara raced ahead so he could finally enjoy some shade. Why did evil masterminds hang out in such awful places? Kuwabara growled under his breath as Yusuke took off after him. They raced to the trees, both wanting the same bit of land under the widest tree. The flaming puffballs attacked before they got there. Yusuke jumped aside with surprising agility, but Kuwabara just stopped in his tracks. The little things were in his way! They were Shade Hogs! Kuwabara saw red. He would kill those little devils! Hiei snorted. He was after Yusuke after all. Yusuke laughed. Kuwabara got into the weirdest things. Kurama stared. He just knew he'd seen these before.

Kuwabara charged with all the pent up rage at the innocent-looking fuzzballs. They jumped out of his reach, quickly shifting to create a triangular formation. Those at the tips of the triangle started swaying, and they created a barrier that Kuwabara was almost certain would burn him if he tried to leave. Those closer to him started glowing, and Kuwabara felt that charging an unknown enemy was not the smartest thing to do.

Yusuke was quick to notice Kuwabara's predicament. He ran around to Kuwabara's far side to leave his back open in case more of the little balls of fiery fluff were hiding out in the trees. He gathered ki in his finger and took aim at the closest corner. If he was lucky, he could hit his target and not Kuwabara. If not... Oh well. Kuwabara could heal.

Kurama moved closer to the trees. He sent out small waves of youki, asking the trees if there were any more enemies. Summoning a fireproof plant, he ran to the other corner of the triangle and prepared to grab the furball that was holding the formation. If he could bring down the barrier before Yusuke fired, Yusuke might be able to hit some of the ones attacking Kuwabara.

Hiei fought back a chuckle. The fireballs these things produced could barely light a match. They were showy, but not devastating. No, they were chosen for their fierce tenacity. They would follow the Tantei for as long as they could, occasionally managing to light someone's clothes or hair on fire. They were durable, almost like coconuts. Hiei shuddered at the thought. He had tried to open a coconut once, and he was largely unsuccessful. When it finally opened, it showered him with its sticky milk. The fireballs were like that. They were nearly indestructible, and they went down in an impressive explosion that did more damage than a live pack. They would slow Yusuke down until Hiei managed to come up with a more suitable revenge.

Kurama had succeeded in releasing the shield around Kuwabara. Yusuke's aim had been true, and he managed to hit Kuwabara squarely in the chest. Kuwabara's clothes were on fire, and he was rolling around, trying to squash the flames. The fireballs were milling around, trying unsuccessfully to pick which person they would attack next. Yusuke was also on the ground laughing his head off.

Kurama got the boys up and urged them to hurry, trying to leave the crazed _things_ behind. However fast the boys could run, the "Evil Fuzzies, "as Kuwabara dubbed them, could keep up. Whatever they did, whether racing through the trees or smothering their ki and hiding behind a rock, the Fuzzies could not be deterred. Hiei had a stitch in his side from trying not to laugh. It had been a good day after all.


	10. Chapter the Tenth

The slight satisfaction Hiei had after watching Kuwabara, Yusuke, and Kurama being followed by his summons was waning. It wasn't good enough! Sure they were annoyed, but this was revenge. He had a few summons he could use that wouldn't kill any of them, but Kurama knew about the firebirds, and he couldn't use the dragons. There were the wolves... They would kill the fuzzballs, though, so they would wait.

He could control someone else again...they were near a town after all. The idiotic low-class demons did seem to think that they could be a challenge for Yusuke... Hiei had his pride. He wasn't about to control some piece of who-knows-what just for Yusuke's sake. He could just control Yusuke. He had already found a way in, and he always left himself a back door for uncertain times just in case. The others would notice unless he did it while they were sleeping. Kurama would feel it; he and Yusuke would have to be asleep, but one of them was always on guard duty, and Kuwabara's sixth sense was pretty good. If he did it while Yusuke was on watch... He could, but he would risk Yusuke finding out and being discovered once he dropped control.

If they got to some place where they all could sleep at the same time...but where? How many reputable hotels were there in Makai? There was an old feudal castle some miles east, probably all the gold had been scraped off by now. The castle...Kurama! There had been gold and treasures, so Kurama and Kuronue probably had stashed their more-than-fair share in some cave or something before they moved it to Kurama's more permanent residence. Then again, they might have spent it all by now. Hiei decided that it was worth a try.

Hiei ghosted across Kurama's mind, careful to leave a faint presence of peace and calm and no hint of himself. He reached past Kurama's barriers and whispered about caves and safety and Kuronue, hoping Kurama's brilliant mind wouldn't let him down. Yusuke noticed Kurama pause.

"Ne, Kurama? We going the wrong way?"

"No, Yusuke. I was just thinking."

"Really? You were _thinking_? You? Don't do it too much; you'll end up like Kuwabara. Did you know that he does his homework sometimes?" Yusuke gasped dramatically giving Kurama a sidelong glance. "Really, what's up?"

Kurama chuckled. "It is getting late. We should go somewhere."

_Somewhere safe, where you can all sleep._ Hiei whispered again.

Yusuke looked puzzled. "What's wrong with here?"

"It's too open. We should try to get somewhere. I just have a bad feeling about it."

"You're the one who's been around here," said Kuwabara. "Don't you know somewhere?"

_Somewhere safe, like with Kuronue._

Kurama whipped around. "Never mind. I think we're being followed."

Yusuke looked blank. "How can you tell?"

"I hadn't thought about sleeping all day, then suddenly I had this weird feeling like we needed to find safe shelter. I don't think it's natural."

"Is it like the earthquake thing? The one where all the animals can sense bad stuff coming?" Kuwabara asked.

"No... It feels familiar but forced."

"I guess we'd better sleep somewhere totally open tonight, eh?" said Yusuke.

The three walked on, puzzling over their stalker and why they couldn't sense him and what if it was someone from Club W. Now half a mile away, Hiei swore and kicked things. It had been a great idea, but now they were alerted to his presence. Settling onto the branch of a tree, Hiei closed his eyes and waited for some foolish demon to come by and bother him. "Stress therapy," the humans called it.

When no demon appeared to be stupid enough to walk by a tree giving off such a fiercely powerful killer's intent, Hiei resigned himself to the fact that he would have to get up if he wanted to do anything. The trio was almost to the border town, and it sounded like they wouldn't be going much farther. Hiei had picked up the location of their destination; it was two days away yet, maybe three. He was fast enough to get there nearly overnight if he ran as quickly as he could. Hiei had a plan.

It was uncomplicated, really. They wouldn't get anywhere if they couldn't find an informant. Hiei grinned wickedly. There wouldn't be any informants by the time Hiei was done.

Hiei strolled into the city past the armored guards. They didn't even notice their brains shut off. They collapsed in a heap. Hiei allowed himself to grin. He was feeling better already. He flitted along alleyways, sealing a barrier around the city so nobody would be able to escape. It was tricky, making someone's heart pop out of their ribcage, but Hiei persevered. He knew he was being unnecessarily mean, but his revenge on Yusuke just _wasn't working!_ Somehow, the feeling of inadequacy welled up. Hiei's youki spiked, sending residents of the nearby homes into a panic. Even among demons, B-class was pretty strong. Toguro had been B-class. Hiei had been training hard since then. In the years that had passed, he was almost S-class. Some of the weaker demons vaporized completely in the heat of his aura. Buildings spontaneously combusted. Soon, the entire city was burning rubble and ash. He turned north, toward the next city.

Kuwabara shivered. "Uh, guys? I think there's something wrong. I feel all tingly."

"Dude, I told you not to eat the weird plant unless you asked Kurama."

"Shut up, Urameshi. It's not that. It feels evil."

The sudden youki spike had them all running.

"That felt like Hiei!" Kurama shouted.

"The shrimp? What's he doing here?"

"I assume he has been told of our mission. Koenma said he might get here early."

"Yeah, and what's he doing?" Yusuke demanded. "That much youki isn't normal. He might be in trouble."

"Hiei? He's probably _making_ the trouble. I'd be more worried about the city!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

It took them ten minutes to reach the charred city. There really was nothing left. Kuwabara turned away as they came to a section that smelled like burnt flesh.

"Dude, what happened to Hiei? I've never seen him like this before." said Yusuke softly as they surveyed the wreckage.

"Guys, I don't think he did this. Hiei might be mean and stuff, but he wouldn't do this."

"That is a possibility," Kurama added. "There are many ways for someone to make their aura feel like someone else's. It's probably the same person that's been stalking us. They're probably trying to lure us into a trap."

"Do you think it's someone targeting Reikai Tantei?" asked Yusuke.

"It could be. Club W has the money and the power necessary to pull this off. Whoever is trying to impersonate Hiei couldn't have done this alone. We'd better go around. It'll take us another day, but we won't be as likely to run into whoever did this."


	11. Chapter the Eleventh

"Excuse me?"

Hiei grunted and swatted at the hand of the young kitsune who was trying to poke him.

"Please?"

Hiei was trying to sleep, but this idiot girl _had_ to keep poking him. Probably to complain about him destroying her home or some nonsense. He didn't know what had happened; maybe something was interfering with the jagan? Hiei remembered quite vividly the first time his jagan had been used against him. He had been in Ningenkai chasing after an errant thief who had fled when he had realized just who he was dealing with. The jagan was new and Hiei didn't have very good control yet. A satellite designed to intercept outer-space signals had begun broadcasting without warning and his jagan had tried to read the encrypted signals, knocking him unconscious. This felt the same, but without the stabbing headache. Another poke brought Hiei violently into reality. That last poke had been more of a jab and Hiei had returned in kind. With his sword, anyway. That's why the kitsune was lying on the ground in half.

"Hiei?" Botan ventured tentatively, scared he would attack her too.

_I thought I left her in China. I do not want to deal with her right now._

"Go away."

"But Hiei, I thought- Did I say something that hurt you?"

_I can run with this..._

Hiei immediately assumed a pain-filled look. "I can't tell you." he said in a bare whisper.

"Hiei? Please talk to me. Whatever's wrong, we can work it out!" Botan said, tears filling her eyes.

_Like hell we can. _

"It's not you, it's me." he said, looking at the ground so she wouldn't see him laughing silently.

"Why?" Botan caught sight of the dead kitsune and jumped. "What is that?"

"Kitsune."

"Why is she lying dead on the ground?"

_I have had enough of this idiotic woman. Alibi or not, she is annoying. I am not playing the fool for her any more._

"I killed her, idiot."

"Don't call me that! Why did you kill her?"

"She poked me." The jagan twitched.

"You senseless brute! I can't believe I ever thought you'd propose to me." The jagan pulsed.

"You think I ever loved you? Gullible fool." The jagan sparked a flash of youki.

"I hate you!" Botan yelled, sending out a wild punch that connected weakly with Hiei's jagan. A bright flash lit up the surrounding area.

Across the charred wreckage of a once-great city, Yusuke said, "Hey, neat! Fireworks!"

Kurama stared at the light.

Kuwabara hit Yusuke over the head for being so dumb. "It feels like youki, idiot!"

"Dude, I know it's youki; it looks like fireworks. Do I have to explain everything to you?"

"I'm not that stupid, Urameshi! I get better grades than you."

"I could do better than you if I tried, idiot."

"Oh yeah, prove it."

"I'm not falling for that!"

"You scared you can't beat me? Huh, Urameshi?"

"You've never beaten me in anything. All your victories are imaginary."

"Yeah, well- "

"Shut up, both of you!"

Yusuke and crew were at the next town before Hiei woke up. Botan was stirring too, and she was shaking the dust out of her hair.

"Hiei, what is this? Why did you cut my hair?"

"I didn't." _I just woke up. Stupid woman._

"Maybe it was that flash. I feel weird."

"Botan?" _Bad._

"I thought you didn't like me."

"I don't. Why do I have your breasts?" _Bad._

"You what? Give them back!"

"How?" _Bad._

"I don't know, just do it!"

"Maybe I won't." _She did this to me. Somehow. Right. She couldn't, but who? The jagan?_

"Why not?"

"I can just ditch you here and go tell Koenma something that'll get you imprisoned forever because he thinks you're me." _I can go find someone who knows about the jagan and ask him. Would Shigure let me just ask a question?_

"You can't do that!"

"I could be the best thief ever. You're already dead, so I can't die now." Hiei's wicked grin looked out of place on Botan's face. _Fun scaring her, but what am I going to do? She's so weak!_

"I'll tell Koenma! He always believes me over you."

"But now I'm you and you're me, so you're in for tough times." _I have got to get out of here._

"I know where Yusuke is. He'll believe me."

"I have your oar. I'll get there first." _That was true. There was Kurama with Yusuke._

"You're faster than me. I'll get there first."

"I can fly an oar. Can you control my body?" _Botan couldn't control ki very well, and his was tainted enough her soul shouldn't be able to control it._

"Whatever I break will be your problem."

"I heal quickly enough you'll be the only one to deal with it." _How to keep Botan away while I talk to Kurama..._

Without warning, Hiei took off, flying high enough Botan couldn't see him. She thought he had naturally great vision. He used youki.

Botan sat down and cried. Hiei's body responded to her anguish by spiking his youki dangerously, trying to get rid of whatever was threatening its host.

"Guys, that was definitely Hiei."

"Yeah, Kuwabara's right. I don't think it's a trick. Kurama, can we go see what's up?"

"We probably should. We need Hiei more than ever, so it's worth risking a trap."

Yusuke took point as the group raced through the flatlands. They were masking their ki, hoping that nobody would sense their approach. Of course, Hiei would probably sense them anyway, but he was weird like that and he did have the jagan.

Kuwabara stopped first. Hiei was crying. Hiei didn't cry.

Yusuke skidded to a stop. Hiei had looked up through tear-streaked eyes and called his name. Hiei was now racing toward him, arms open wide.

Kurama stopped last. Hiei was hugging Yusuke for dear life and crying into his jacket. Hiei didn't do things like that.

"Yusuke?"

"I know, Kurama."

Under the pretense of patting Hiei on the back, Yusuke spun the fake around and sent a reigan into his back. He sent another after it for good measure.

"Hiei would have dodged."

"Hiei wouldn't have grabbed you like that."

"You'd think these bad guys would think things through."

Club W was pleased. Everything was going as planned. In two minutes, they would have all of Reikai under their control.


	12. Chapter the Twelfth

"Sir, our operatives are in place. We are ready to commence the attack on your command."

"Very well. You may begin. Where are the Tantei? I don't want them interfering with my plan."

"They are searching for us near the northern base. Youko Kurama was sniffing around for information, and I sent him there. All they will find is a clue leading them to the eastern base, so we will have plenty of time, sir."

"Excellent. I will be at the club. See that I am not disturbed."

"Yes, sir.

Hiei saw Yusuke fire the reigan into his back and flew down quickly. He figured he had better act like Botan and talk to Kurama later.

"Hey, guys, what's up? Eww, what happened to Hiei?" he asked in a strange, foreign voice.

"Stay back, Botan. That's not Hiei. It was an imposter from the guys who are trying to get us." Kuwabara said protectively. He didn't believe in letting girls get hurt.

"Do you have something for us from Koenma?" Kurama asked.

"No. I was here running an errand for him, and I figured I'd drop in." Hiei said.

"How did you know we were here?" Yusuke asked suspiciously, a bit rougher than he intended.

"If you want to hide, you shouldn't use that much ki. I knew where you were from miles away." Hiei explained. "And you and Kuwabara have your communicators. I can track you with those."

"Oh, right." Yusuke said, acting like he'd known all along. "It might not be safe for you to come with us; there've been attacks. Go back to Reikai, and we'll call you if anything happens,"

Hiei summoned his oar and flew slowly off. He didn't want to go back to Reikai without his body. Botan could stay, but he wasn't going to let any half-wit demon touch his body.

"Group Six, come in. This is Ground Command. Status report. Over."

"Group Six to Ground Command. We are within the gates of Reikai, ready to commence phase two on your mark. Over."

"Group Six, hold your position. Over."

"Ground Command to Opportunity Base, all systems are go. Over."

"This is Opportunity Base, commence Zero Hour. Over."

"Numbers, this is Ground Command. Begin Operation Zero Hour. Special Forces, go to red alert and prepare for the worst. They won't take this lying down."

Koenma wasn't quite as air headed as he looked and acted, but he really was just that oblivious. He didn't notice the Special Forces coming up behind him until he was five feet off the ground. They took him down the hall into his father's private banquet hall. The commanding officer, or at least the biggest and ugliest, sneered and said, "What a pleasure it is to have you here. You seem to be important here, so maybe you can tell us where your Lord Koenma is."

Koenma looked surprised. He had forgotten that his father had never let him out into Makai in toddler form before. Now it was coming in handy. Most demons really had no idea what he looked like. This would be fun.

"Lord Koenma is a handsome man who is far smarter than you'll ever be!" he shouted. The commanding officer laughed. "Clap 'im in irons and put 'im on that wall there. I'll get answers out of you, boy, if it's the last thing I do."

"Yeah, and when I get out of here, I'm going to get a bunch of soldiers and see that all of you are executed!" Koenma retorted.

"Really? You and what army, kid? I think you're just a lackey. After all, you just stamp Koenma's name. If you were really him, you could just sign it. We all know he's the only one who cam mobilize Reikai's army."

Koenma was sitting up against the wall. Apparently, they didn't think he had very much useful information.

"Listen to this:

Sunny days make me so happy I want to sing.

I wish I was a small child with a large bell to ring.

Running in the grass tickles your toes,

but flying in the sky doesn't.

It's a poem. I just made it up. Isn't it great?"

"Kid, that was trash."

"I should have known. Low level demons like you have no taste for fine art. Really, if you had spent even ten minutes in school, you would have known what a great poem it was. I even rhymed the first two lines."

"You didn't rhyme the last two. It doesn't flow."

"Oh, you're an expert. I'll have you know that modern poetry doesn't even have to rhyme. You're just jealous because you're stuck in the past. I bet you don't even know how to work a typewriter."

"I am not going to spend more time with you listening to this nonsense. Corporal! Watch him and see if he says anything relating to Koenma's location. I think he may be slightly insane. That or he's in shock from being captured. Ignore anything he says that isn't relevant to our objective."

"Yes, sir!"


	13. Chapter the Thirteenth

Hiei flew back to Reikai, trying not to drop his body. Yusuke hadn't let him take it at first, but Hiei just waited until the other three were out of sight. This whole week wasn't going as planned. He skimmed the plains; with the kekkai in sight he could finally just get out of the kimono and into normal clothes. A nice, hot bath after? That sounded good. There were excellent onsen in ningenkai. Hiei almost didn't see the youkai come running up from behind.

It was a good thing, Hiei would later recollect, that most lower-level youkai didn't take baths. He only noticed the idiot neko because his onsen daydreams were ruined by the smell of rotting plants. The unfortunate thing had to deal with angry Hiei, frustrated Hiei, tired Hiei, and don't-touch-me Hiei all at once. There wasn't much left. Now thoroughly angry, Hiei walked the last ten feet to the kekkai and pulled his body through.

Reikai appeared to be under some sort of lockdown. Why the kekkai in the middle of Makai was still operative despite the lockdown Hiei couldn't know. Unless… Unless Reikai wasn't under military lockdown but under attack. Hiei stuffed his body in a closet full of cleaning supplies and ran off in search of pants. He could fight off an invasion more comfortably in pants.

Reikai was unfortunately not designed for the convenience of those looking for pants. There were ferry girls' uniforms and scrubs for the resident surgeon, but no pants. In any case, at least one person invading Reikai would be male, possibly with pants. Hiei ran on.

He found the trouser-clad youkai several turns later, smoking with his other pants-wearing friends. The smallest was still two, maybe three sizes larger than Hiei, but there was enough baling twine in Reikai to serve a hay farm for years. His sword was safely tucked away, but he wouldn't need a sword to deal with these pansies…

None of the shirts were to Hiei's satisfaction, but he did come away the victor, with pants. Now to find Koenma and demand to be put right. Hiei took the long way just in case there were more youkai. No sense letting them get away, after all.

Hiei heard shouting in one of the rooms near Koenma's office. They were using a western dialect, and Hiei was having a bit of trouble keeping up with their conversation. He gathered that Koenma was out leading hundreds of Tantei to find Club W. There was a toddler in the banquet hall with Jr. on his forehead, and he was possibly working for Koenma and would recognize him on sight. Hiei ran on, trying not to laugh. They had Koenma, and though Yusuke in a china shop was worth a hundred bulls, there were still only three Tantei and they had no clue where they were going.

King Yama's banquet hall was easy to find, as foreign dignitaries sometimes had to find it on their own. Hiei listened at the door before opening it. Koenma was chained loosely to the far wall, and he was guarded by a bored-looking youkai with a red headband that was probably their revolutionary icon. Hiei killed him without a second thought. Koenma looked up and asked, "What are _you_ doing here?"

Hiei looked down and realized that Koenma had just seen Botan rip off some youkai's head. He smiled at the thought. He'd have to remember that he was unfortunately female. He also realized that he had not put on a shirt since they were all too big. Hiei looked up at Koenma then turned and walked away. He made sure to remind himself to tell Botan that Koenma might like it better if she didn't wear her kimono to work anymore, judging by the smile on his face.

* * *

The real Botan, currently imprisoned in Hiei's body, woke up. Her whole body hurt. On top of that, she was stuffed inside a closet. She got up carefully, wincing slightly, and opened the door. There was a youkai wearing a red headband outside. He took one look at her and ran. Botan didn't bother to think about why; after all, she had a headache. She made her way to the rec room where she and the other ferry girls enjoyed a few minutes of leisure between jobs.

There were four other girls in the rec room, and they stared at her like she was something out of the black lagoon. It wasn't like they had never seen a man before, but this was Hiei, and he didn't usually try to come into this area. They figured he'd come for Botan. Given how he'd treated her in China, she deserved an apology. They gave him the stare of girls united against an aggressor of their fellow women. He looked surprised. He looked at his body and freaked out. He passed out again. The ferry girls looked at each other uncomfortably, not wanting to touch him but not wanting to leave him on the floor either. His nose was bleeding a bit because of the impact. They decided to leave. The bathroom had nicer couches and a better VCR anyway.


	14. Chapter the Fourteenth

**In Occupied Reikai**

"Sir, there is no sign of Koenma in Reikai. We searched every floor," one guard reported.

"We think he may have fled to Makai," his partner added.

"He wouldn't be alone. Trace him through the Reikai Tantei. He will be with them," the commander barked.

"Sir, what should we look for?" the guard asked.

"According to his reports, he is quite handsome with shiny hair and good skin. He'll probably be the one who doesn't try to fight you. We can expect some exaggeration, so just find out if the Tantei have any extra help," the commander said with a smile.

* * *

**Lost in Makai**

"Are we there yet?"

"No, Yusuke. I think we're lost."

"Kurama! How could you? I thought you were supposed to be smart! How could you get us lost?" Yusuke demanded angrily.

"I followed my informant's map exactly. It's not my fault," Kurama said petulantly.

"Then it's your informant's problem, right?" Kuwabara asked.

"No, it's our problem because we're the ones stuck in this stupid forest!" Yusuke shouted.

"It's getting dark. Gosh, it's creepy at night."

"Shut up, Kuwabara!"

"Yusuke, calm down," Kurama said coolly. "We can stay here tonight and go back tomorrow."

Over a small rise, two rebel soldiers watched the Tantei argue.

"Is that him? The one with the red hair? That's Koenma?" one asked, pointing in confusion at Kurama.

"I think so. Wow, he's so…girly. I figured he'd be more imposing or something, but he matches the description perfectly."

"Plan?"

"We'll go in once the detectives are asleep. We'll grab Koenma and run."

"How are we going to get out? What if he yells?"

"Gag him if you have to. We'll set up the temporary kekkai first and then we can probably get to Reikai even if the Tantei wake up and chase us."

The two soldiers sat down to wait. The Tantei were taking for _ever_ to fall asleep. They were just talking. The soldiers tried hard not to make any noise or think about what the practically _legendary_ Urameshi Yusuke would do to them if they were caught kidnapping his boss. Urameshi's cavalier attitude toward Koenma was pretty well known, but so was his willingness to just punch you for no reason. The other one Kuwabara Kazuma was an unknown. They heard that he'd made some pretty dumb mistakes, but he'd also managed to pull off some spectacular moves.

_

* * *

_

Where am I?

_The air smells…clean? Not Makai then. _

_The room is white. An interrogation room? Hospital?_

_Where are the others? What happened?_

_I still have my plants? They must not know me very well…_

"He looks awake. Get him up. The commander wants to see him."

Kurama was pulled up and shoved roughly onto his feet. Looking around, he realized that he was in Reikai. He didn't recognize the youkai who held him.

Kurama smiled as he walked down the long halls to Koenma's office. If those two had really been Reikai employees, which he highly doubted, then it would only be polite to inform Koenma of their recent decease. Before he opened the door, he glanced over his clothes to make sure that there wasn't any blood or anything on his clothes. While it might have been okay for Yusuke to stomp around covered in mud and guts and demon slime, _Youko Kurama_ had a reputation to uphold.

The weird youkai sitting in Koenma's chair seemed surprised to find himself headless. Kurama looked around. He didn't want to just go running through Reikai looking for Koenma. He might come across a group too large to dispatch alone. No, he was going home. If youkai were trying to take Reikai, he had to make sure Shiori was safe.

* * *

**Makai**

Kuwabara woke first; he always had. There was something about the morning that he loved. He sat up in the tree watching the sunrise and waiting for Yusuke to wake up. He hadn't seen Kurama, but maybe there was some rare tree with spikes or poison or something that endeared Kurama to itself. If he wasn't back by the time Yusuke woke up, they'd look for him, but it wasn't the first time they'd lost him only to find that there was this rare species of _Mimulus aurantiacus_ around.

He pulled out a water balloon and a spare water bottle. Throwing water balloons at Yusuke was something Hiei had started just last year when Yusuke had thrown one at _him_ in order to get him 'involved' in their summer activities. Hiei had accepted his soaked cloak graciously, and everyone was glad he didn't seem too mad until the next mission when he'd woken them all up with thirty little missiles.

Yusuke woke to find he'd slept wrong and his neck was stiff. He stretched, trying to loosen it up when a water balloon exploded on his head. He looked around and saw Kuwabara up in a tree. He didn't have any way of retaliating…yet.

Twenty minutes later, all the water was gone and both boys were absolutely soaked. Kurama still hadn't come back.

"Where'd he go?" Yusuke asked, kicking himself for not noticing at all.

"Beats me. He wasn't here when I woke up, and that was a while ago."

"Okay, last time we panicked and he was fine. Do you think this is a panic time or a Kurama's-run-off-again time?"

"Um, how about we wait for a bit. It's not like we can go anywhere without him. I don't know where we're going," said Kuwabara.

"You don't know?" Yusuke taunted.

"Well it's not like you do!"

"We're looking for this guy who's hiding somewhere. Really, how hard is that. We were going this direction yesterday, so we just have to keep going this way until we find something." Yusuke said proudly.

"Yeah, and how are we supposed to know if it's the right something to find?" Kuwabara countered.

"Because he'll come after us. Haven't you noticed? The bad guys try to kill us or run away, and the rest just do whatever normal youkai do. Besides, if we see someone running, they're probably guilty of something anyway. It's like civil service."

"You're the one to talk of civil service." Kuwabara muttered.

"What was that? I've been a paragon of virtue lately."

"You don't even know what a paragon is, Urameshi!"

"Of course I do. There's paragons and hexagons and pentagons and squares and triforces. It's basic geometry."

"As if you've ever taken geometry…"

"Duh. I'm taking it this year."

"Not like you actually go to school or anything."

"I went to the first day, and the teacher told us we were going to learn about paragons and stuff."


	15. Chapter the Fifteenth

A/N: Hey, we're halfway there. That means it's time for…

The Plot Thus Far!

In the first chapter, we discovered that Yusuke will write a five-page essay, that Hiei is really an American who thinks he's Youko Kurama's reincarnation, and that Hiei is very angry about it.

In the second chapter, Hiei tries to take revenge and fails utterly.

In the third chapter, Yusuke confuses Keiko and Genkai. It was supposed to be part of Hiei's revenge, but it also didn't work.

In the fourth chapter, Hiei trashes Sarayashiki in Yusuke's name.

In the fifth chapter, the police are looking for Yusuke, but he's beating his high score on Demon Slayer III. Hiei tries to make an alibi and ends up digging himself in pretty deep.

In the sixth chapter, Koenma asks Yusuke why he vandalized his school. Yusuke and Koenma go on to attribute all the evil in the world to Mr. W who hates Reikai. Shiori feeds Yusuke and Kuwabara lunch.

In the seventh chapter, Atsuko flirts with the police who have come for Yusuke. They are not amused. Kurama, Kuwabara, and Yusuke are getting ready to go to Makai to find Mr. W.

In the eighth chapter, Hiei is regretting ever meeting Botan. We also discover that Hiei is a witch and his soul is now gone.

In the ninth chapter, Kazuma faces the Wrath of Shizuru, Kurama is in one of his moods, and Hiei summons evil fuzzies.

In the tenth chapter, Hiei tries again to take revenge and fails. He destroys a random city of youkai. Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama decide that Mr. W is using something to make them think it's Hiei.

In the eleventh chapter, Hiei and Botan break up rather tragically. Or not. The jagan is malfunctioning, and Botan and Hiei have switched bodies.

In the twelfth chapter, Mr. W has planned an invasion of Reikai. Koenma is captured. They ask him where Koenma is. He laughs at them.

In the thirteenth chapter, Hiei finds pants and later, a shirt too. Hiei kills things.

In the fourteenth chapter, Mr. W's men go in search of a handsome man. They find Kurama. Kurama notices Reikai is under attack and goes to make sure Shiori is okay. Yusuke and Kuwabara assume he's off with a plant, so they aren't worried about him.

* * *

Chapter 15

Kurama looked around in disbelief. There were youkai everywhere! He started sprinting. He wouldn't let any low life scum touch his mom. Kurama threw open the door and looked around frantically. Shiori wasn't at home!

Back in Makai, Yusuke's cell phone rang.

"Who is it?" Kuwabara asked.

"Shut up and let me find out.

"Hello? What do you want?"

"Yusuke, it's me! There are youkai all over, and I can't find Shiori!"

"Kurama? Of course there are youkai; this is Makai after all. They live here."

"No, I'm in Ningenkai. Don't ask. Help me find Shiori!"

Kurama hung up.

"Hey, Kuwabara, were there youkai back at home when we left?"

"Not that I remember. Why, are they like taking over or something? Oh no, is Sensui back? It's not Toguro again, is it? Wait, is Yukina okay? What about Eikichi? If something bad happened, do you think Shizuru would remember to take her?"

Yusuke and Kuwabara ran back to the kekkai and into Reikai. There were bodies everywhere. They ran into Koenma's office and saw a beheaded youkai sitting in the chair.

"I'm thinking something's wrong here." Yusuke said, kicking at the dead guy's arm.

"Yeah, I'm getting a bad feeling."

"Hey, you stay here and figure out what's up, and I'll go help Kurama."

"But wait, what about Yukina?"

"She's with Genkai. She'll be fine."

Kuwabara left, looking over his shoulder again at the dead youkai. Whatever had done that might still be wandering the halls, and it would be his job to find it. He crept along the wide marble paths, trying not to make any noise. Suddenly, he was grabbed and pulled into a room. He didn't recognize it, but he figured it must have been an office. He kicked out, but his attacker dodged. A hand shot out and covered his mouth.

"Don't freak out on me. We have to talk."

Kuwabara turned and saw Botan, a bit worse for the wear. She was wearing pants that were a little too big on her and a muscle shirt that exposed some of her bra. Kuwabara looked at the ceiling, gentleman that he was.

"Idiot. It's not her, it's me."

"Oh, thanks. That explains a lot. Me who?"

"Me Hiei. Me not Botan. You idiot."

"You don't have to be so mean about it, shrimp."

Hiei rolled his eyes. "Why are you here? I assume Yusuke's here somewhere too."

"Kurama called. There's some youkai back home, and he wanted help. But I stayed here. Koenma's missing, and there's some dead guy in his office."

"Koenma's in the banquet hall. You remember Club W? This is them."

"So… what now?"

"So we go kill bad guys. Or you can stay here if it's too much for you."

"No way! I'm coming too. I bet I can kill more than you!" Kuwabara shouted as he tore down the hall.

Over in Ningenkai, Yusuke found Kurama who had apparently taken a youkai prisoner. He looked tired, and his hair was out of place.

"Yusuke! Finally. Help me with this thing."

"What do you want?"

"Shiori isn't at home. I found him in my front yard, and he isn't talking."

"So just beat him up."

"I'd have to touch him. You do it."

Yusuke smiled at the poor youkai. He looked a bit too confident for Yusuke's taste.

"So you want to tell me anything?" he asked.

"Not on your life," the youkai spat.

"It's your life, not mine, buddy."

It only took one punch for the scrawny demon to realize that he might be better off talking.

"I don't know anything about that lady of his," he said frantically, pointing to Kurama, "but they said the big throwdown's going to be at the Lucky 99 downtown. They set up a kekkai that anyone under C class can get through."

"Hey, Kurama!" Yusuke called. "We're going downtown."


	16. Chapter the Sixteenth

Yusuke ran in first with Kurama following closely after. They stopped short and looked around. The shelves had all been knocked over, and, in the produce section, a youkai was eating one of the salesmen. She was like a harpy out of a deranged picture book, half woman, half bird, and none so sweet sounding as she screamed at the people who had just come in for groceries. Yusuke fired his reigan at her before she could hurt anyone else. Two ningen were caught in the blast.

"Wow, I sure hope that wasn't anyone I know. Do you think Koenma's going to be mad at me?"

"Probably not. They would have died anyway if you had just left them. Hey, I'll take their souls over to Reikai while I'm at it."

"You want me to come? Actually, I should probably make sure Keiko and everyone else are alright."

"Okay, see you later, Yusuke."

Yusuke went over to a woman who had lost her son. She was screaming frantically at the sight of the overturned shelves, certain her son had been in there. Yusuke eventually found him under a pile of cereal. He was alive, but he would have to be taken to a doctor.

Another lady, this time much older, had fallen on the ground and was having trouble getting up. Yusuke helped her up, found her purse, and wiped off the chunks of apple on her dress.

"Aren't you that Urameshi kid?" she asked.

"Yup," said Yusuke, not looking up.

"I never knew you were such a nice boy. I always heard from my grandson that you beat people up."

Yusuke didn't know what to say.

"He said you stole his wallet once."

"Really? What's his name?"

"Why do you want to know? Are you going to take it again? Kids these days…"

"Alright, I get it, I can't help people because I'm me," he muttered as she left.

He looked around. Most of the patrons were gone already; he wouldn't be needed anymore.

Yusuke walked out of the store, grabbing an energy bar on the way. If youkai were randomly running amok in the city, he would need something to eat. Speaking of which, Keiko made pretty good ramen…



Back in Reikai, Kuwabara had untied Koenma. He and Hiei had run around the place, killing Club W agents left and right. Hiei had won in the end; he ran much faster even as Botan, and he knew the place better, so Kuwabara didn't really stand a chance.

"Hey, Hiei, you think we should go see what Yusuke and Kurama are up to?"

Hiei shrugged. "Might as well."

They walked out, heroes of the day, off to another field of conquest. They met Yusuke at the Lucky 99 and started off toward Keiko's house.

Kurama walked in. Koenma gasped.

Later, when the store was all empty and the sky was dark and heavy with rain, a young-looking demon knelt over the charred remains of his mother's body and cursed Yusuke, vowing to take revenge.


	17. Chapter the Seventeenth

"So why are we going to see Keiko first and not Yukina?" Kuwabara asked for what seemed to Yusuke like the millionth time.

"Because Keiko has ramen and I'm hungry."

Kuwabara fell silent, and they kept walking. They hadn't made very good time, and it was getting dark. It would have gone so much faster if these stupid youkai hadn't been behind every corner. Really, you'd have thought they didn't have anything better to do.

At long last, the boys could see the lights from the Yukimuras' diner. Kuwabara ran up to the door, shouting, "Dinner time!" He threw the door open and stopped short. The door swung closed again, but he didn't notice. Sensing something was wrong, Yusuke and Hiei ran over. Yusuke pushed open the door and threw up. All the patrons' throats were slit. Yusuke pushed past Kuwabara and ran into the kitchen. He clapped his hand over his mouth and backed into the wall. Opposite was Mr. Yukimura, pinned to the wall by his own knives. Hiei came in, looked around, and said, "Well, looks like we missed some. Are we still eating here?"

"I'm not. Ramen's in that pot over there if you're still hungry."

Hiei walked over to the pot and lifted off the lid.

"Hey, you should come see this," he called.

Yusuke walked over, half hoping it would just be a joke, half scared it wasn't.

It wasn't. It was Mrs. Yukimura, floating in the broth, her face sticking out of the noodles. Yusuke turned away and groaned. Then a thought came to him: Keiko! He dashed out the back and ran up to her room.

Yusuke fell to the ground. His fiancée was hanging from a rope made of the letters he had sent her. Keiko's throat was cut, and her shirt front was stained red. Her stomach was cut open too, and her entrails littered the floor.

There was a note on the wall: "Urameshi, you killed my mother. I will take away everything good in your life until you are begging me for mercy. Then I will come for you."

Hiei laughed softly.

"What's so funny?" Yusuke snapped.

"Just thinking of how all the youkai tease Kurama for loving Shiori, but they're all the same."

"What do you mean?"

"Some brat wants revenge because you killed his mommy."

"I did?"

"You forgot already? You remember that youkai in the Lucky 99?"

"That was a woman? How can you tell?"

"Women smell different."

Yusuke snorted. He was picturing Hiei running around a flowery field, sniffing women in long, flowing skirts. Mental-Hiei looked quite happy there.

"Hey, Hiei, can your jagan tell us anything about this guy?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Right. Botan's got your jagan."

Hiei growled. Yusuke continued, "I still think of you as you, isn't that funny? Man, I totally forgot. Do you think we should go find her and try to switch you back?"

"It's not bothering me so much anymore. It's more important to make sure everyone's okay, and by everyone I mean Yukina."

"Yeah, okay. But on the way, let's check on my mom."

"And Shizuru too!" Kuwabara reminded the others.

They called the paramedics and the police, and made sure everything would be taken care of before they left for the Urameshi house to check on Atsuko since her house was closest.

"Hey, Urameshi, did you see their faces? When they saw you there, they were like, 'Hey, you delinquent,' and they so would have arrested you if I hadn't told them it wasn't your fault."

"Yeah, yeah, that's so funny."

"At least they didn't see Hiei, what with his sword and all. I bet they would have tried to shoot him."

"And then he might have killed them, and then there would be even more dead people, and would you just shut up?"

"Gosh, Urameshi, what crawled up your pants and died?"

"I know you guys didn't really talk and all, but can we pretend that Keiko and her family are dead and it's a little sad?"

"Oh… Okay, I'll shut up. I promise I won't say another word until-"

"Okay, pretend Yuki…" Hiei glared fiercely in Yusuke's general direction. "Shizuru is dead. That kind of quiet? That's good."

"Oh."

Kuwabara was silent for the rest of the trip.

Okay... I need someone who can write fights to help me out. Details if you want to help only since there may be spoilers. Of course, you might not care, but then you might.

Oh, please review for sure if you're wearing green socks.


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